Repentness

So much hatred against myself.So much hate against the lack of power God had imbued as.You always hope you will do everything fine,but instead you just vanquish everything:friends,relationships,family.One feels sometimes that he was never meant to be! That he must not have been here.And when you are trusted a 'forbidden pearl of knowledge',in the next split of a second you (maybe unconsciously do it,or on purpose) hurt your closest person.And the truth is that when you do it,you somehow fathom the moral disaster your friend is going through.If only you could reap out of that person's chest the pain,just like a demon takes away a fragile red rose.Filth and misery gain control of you and you just hate God for making u so powerless.So small!Like a fly!eat shit and die!I hope your inner lustful wish will soon come through.TO MY CLOSEST FRIEND!