It was a long time ago! I can hardly remember it and yet, there are so many episodes that are still alive, that still glim in the haze of oblivion. Though time passes futile over my ever-youthful soul, the memory of my first day as a high-school pupil stirs and tries to come to the surface of my memories.
It was a rainy, chilly day of autumn when all clouds gathered above my head, as they were dripping crystal-clear tears for the nervousness that most of the children from the school’s yard had. If I remember well, all my emotions were focused only on myself ,on what bothered me, on what the feeling of being a ‘highpupil’ methamorphosed me. I was dreaming about the end of this period, that I couldn’t trust no one but myself. Did it do me good to know that yet I thought myself as being alone, there were some boys who were colleagues of mine? That there were some acquaintances of mine ,there, in the yard of ever twisting fates, were all futures head towards somewhere else, towards better horizons? Towards the bizarre fear of the unknown? I must emphasize the fact that I didn’t think like this back then, that I was fearful ,a misanthropist, because society had been an absolute slut to me until then, making me undecided, unsure of what I thought or what I felt, not having any perspectives or pure routes to walk on …I dreamt of only small things such as having a well paid job, a family etc.
It caused a lot of grief, as no abolition of fear could have done anything good to me then… I felt the skies were crying for me, pitying me, that the earth was sad for my sufferance, for my uncertainty. I thought it to be a moment of solace, though I hated it. I think I even made my way back home solitary, calmly walking through the rain, feeling peaceful in a such agitated world and society !
And here I am now… Almost self-discovered, a possible artist or a minor philosopher, that must thank to his mentor for having turned him into a person capable of doing pretty crazy things, of expressing myself and not keeping it inside me. I am more mature, more tranquil. I can now see clearly what I want to do, what I am sure I want to do…. I know clearly now….I am different…I can see things that others don’t… If I were to make a evolutionary scale of mine I would say I was high, because I got to high-school, then higher, for meeting extraordinary people to support me and also for constantly developing my artistic talents, and finally the highest because now I know I am an artist for good that still has a lot of work to do…. Yet I must become higher than the highest to become truly special…
Thank you all for being there for me…!!
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